Oh, my goodness!  I’ve crossed quite a time line from the 1800s, haven’t I?  And I've dropped in on a women’s conference, imagine that!  In my day, women weren't allowed to have conferences.  We weren’t allowed to do much of anything without a male escort.  We couldn’t attend social events, speak out in public, write for the media, own property, run for office, or even vote!  You can vote, can’t you? Well, you look like wonderful examples of our success and advancement in the last century, so I’m glad to be here.  And you all look so comfortable!  I see no evidence of corsets at all!

But even when he was home, Abraham wasn’t particularly easy to live with, what with his fatigue from all that travel, his generally poor health, his depression, oh and his constant forgetfulness.  Why, I still remember the time he was walking down the street, pulling Bob in a little red wagon, and reading a book at the same time.  He didn’t notice for several blocks that Bob had fallen out of the wagon, because he forgot he was pulling it!

Do you ever feel guilt and stupidity over something you did that seemed like a good idea?  I lived with that thorn for 20 years—until the day I died.  Willie’s death wasn’t really my fault.  We had no water filtration and no trash pickup in those days, so people just threw their garbage right into the river.  And we had no germ killers like penicillin, so many people died from the same poison.  Still, I never let the guilt leave me for even a minute.  And of course I wouldn’t talk about my pain with anyone.  What about you?  Are you holding onto something you need to share with someone…or something you need to let go completely?  Guilt is an even bigger curse than jealousy.

So when will you start on your future? When will you begin to repress jealousy and guilt, to be real, to listen, to dream wisely, to take responsibility, and to see the world with wonder again? I challenge you to start today. Don’t wait for someday like I did.  Your chance could be gone in the flash of a bullet, in the tick of a clock.

Lesson: Be careful what you aim for.  I should have made Abraham leave the race when the threats became so frightening—horrible telegrams, blood-stained letters, voodoo dolls with our own faces on them, poisoned food, dead animals left on our doorstep in the dark of night.  But I wanted to be president so badly that I put my family’s needs second.  Oh, don’t get me wrong.  I was a good mother, and a devoted wife, but I wanted more.  I wanted to be important and admired. I wanted…no, I needed…to be loved and respected by absolutely everyone.  So I pushed relentlessly and ignored anyone who didn’t serve my needs.  Then, one by one, the people I cherished were taken from me.  I see now, with my retrovision, that my dreams weren’t nearly as important as the people I loved.

Lesson:  Set wise goals. I met the famous educator, Benjamin Mays, when he arrived in Heaven in 1984, and he said that the tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goals.  The tragedy lies in having no goals to reach.  People didn’t talk about goals when I was alive.  Most just did what they did and hoped it worked out the way they wanted.  But you’re smarter.  You know that you can help yourself get the things you want.  If you know what you want.  Successful people do know what they want from life, and they see it and feel it before they achieve it.  I didn’t call it goal setting, of course, but I had planned for the White House since I was a child. In my imagination, I had redecorated every room, hired every servant, attended every meeting, and entertained every guest.  There was no doubt in my mind that we would be elected.  How could I not end up there? 

Lesson:  Hold yourself accountable.  Lots of people think about changing the world, or changing other people, but few realize they have to begin by changing themselves.  I’m amazed at how many people today don’t want to take accountability for anything they do—even spilling hot coffee on themselves or eating too much.  Problems have always been a part of life, but very few people truly carry an unbearable cross.  Most of our crosses are just annoyances, disappointments, or false hopes about ourselves or others or circumstances.  And blaming others doesn’t help a bit.  If you don’t like your life, change it.  One tiny piece at a time if you have to, but it’s silly to keep doing the same things in the same way and expect different results.

Lesson:  Repress your jealousy.  Jealousy is as useless as white gloves on a catfish.  Whether you’re jealous of another person’s attention or envious of another person’s success, it doesn’t hurt anyone but you.  Even though nothing is more humiliating than to see idiots succeed where we have failed, they don’t suffer a whit over the fact that we can’t sleep at night.  I think Ovid, the great poet, summed it up beautifully last week as we were strolling through the stars.  He said, “Love that's fed by jealousy dies hard.” He was absolutely right, because, in truth, there’s more ego in jealousy than love, and all it gives you is more heartache.  My Abraham was an honorable man; unfounded jealousy was my own curse.